FROM THE WOMEN IN TYLER

Chapter 5: Values

 1.       Family/Relationships, Faith, Integrity, Achievement/Hard work, Compassion/Service, Loyalty

 2.       One summer while in college, I was struggling to find a job so I would be able to save money for the upcoming semester. After months of searching and dead ends, I was offered a lifeguarding job at a casino resort in Las Vegas. After accepting the offer and committing to the job, I showed up for orientation and was shown the uniform.  That was when I learned that I would be required to wear a tiny white bikini every day. This meant my body would be on display for all guests and workers every day I was at work. Also, the uniform wasn’t very practical for the job. If I had to perform CPR or rescue anyone from the water, I was at risk of being “exposed”. I had to choose between my integrity, as I gave my word, and following my faith which includes being modest and respecting my body. In the end, I had to call my boss and tell him I would not be able to work in the uniform that they were requesting. He kind of laughed at me and told me that I could find a job somewhere else than. I was disappointed in this outcome as I had to go back to my job hunt but I felt good that I stood up for myself and what was important to me.

 3.       Anytime you have done something wrong but have an opportunity to sweep it under the rug and compromise your integrity, there is pressure to abandon your values. One time in an office setting, I let a patient leave on accident before the doctor signed off on the chart. Our doctor called a group of 5 of us in to his office and was screaming at us all to figure out what happened. It would have been easy to keep quiet and let the whole group be blamed as I was the only one that really knew what happened. It was so scary to raise my hand and admit fault, and when I did, I was screamed at in front of everyone. After he dismissed the staff and kept me behind, he calmed down and we resolved the issue instead of blaming the whole office and ruining everyone’s day.

a.       Although it would have been easy to deviate from my values, my integrity was more important to me than my pride

                                  b.    I had to muster up all of my courage and rely on it to withstand the pressure                                   I was under.

                                  c.     If faced with this again, I would probably own my mistake as soon as I                                            caught it instead of waiting for the boss to catch it and save everyone from                                            being yelled at.

FROM THE WOMEN IN SAN ANTONIO

“Intrinsic motivations are derived from your deepest inner desires… They are the basis of your true north.” Bill George

We found that our intrinsic motivations actually drive our extrinsic motivations. It is an external display of an internal goal or commitment. Katie said that one of her intrinsic motivations was to “become the best me.” This naturally drives her extrinsic motivation of having a fit body. Erin is internally motivated to be a good mother and have a safe and happy home for her kids. Her external motivator is praise. Maybe this is a way for her to get the validation that her internal goals are being met, and her efforts are paying off. 

As a group our main extrinsic motivations were having fit bodies, getting praise, living comfortably, and being known as being kind. We can see how getting fit can become dominant. 
We have many more intrinsic motivations. Some are: gaining traits they adore in a role model (usually a parent), becoming spiritually strong, making a difference in the peoples lives they touch every day (teacher, mother, spouse), passion for learning, and seeing the beauty in the views around them, and handling difficulties with grace. It was hard to number these motivations, but one gal said for her, “Religion comes first, because that is why I have joy.”

Our capabilities really set us apart. We are all different instruments in the symphony of our office. One of Kim’s greatest capabilities (and one of her intrinsic motivators) is being kind. Hard work was agreed on by some gals. Some are great organizers, some capable of putting others first, and there are some good listeners among us. Some don’t even realize their greatest capabilities and needed help to find theirs. Several of the girls are cosmetologists and have skills of listening and making conversation. We were similar in some ways and very different in others. 
The sweet spot was hard to identify for many of us. I like to see my kids smile and learn new things, so I can use my motivations of the love of learning and wanting to be a good mother, and capabilities to be patient as a way to see the rewards of smiles and instilling the love of learning. 

Kevin Sharer, MCI CEO hopeful said, “We are the mosaic of all of our experiences,” and isn’t that so true. All of our experiences, intentional or not, are put into the framework of our lives and will some day be a glorious display. 

FROM THE WOMEN IN WEST CLEVELAND

We decided to address 3 different topics to write on as a group.  We found the questions really made us open up to each other and get to know each other a lot better.  One topic we discussed was something that has helped us be leaders in our lives.  A few of us agreed that this job and being a Vivint wife was very impactful.  Moving so much and battling the fear of a new place by yourself forces us to step out of our comfort zones and take a stand as a leader.  Whether its' figuring out the new area without a husband most of the time, or reaching out to the other wives to make friends.  My summer wives have become some of my closest friends because we understand each other and rely so heavily on each other!  They are some of the only ones that understand the dynamics of this job.  Making it valuable to step up and become a leader through it all.  One wife shared:

"Because I was the oldest kid in my family, I've always had a leader

mentality.  Being the oldest not only made me learn how to care for

myself, but I had to learn to care for my siblings as well.  I was often

left in charge of my siblings and would have to make sure that the

kids were fed, bathed, and in bed on time.  This forced me to learn 

leadership skills as well as coping skills when they wouldn't listen to

me.  I quickly figured out that being a boss and a leader were two

different things.  Bosses told the others what to do, and leaders

showed and helped others learn.  I found that being a leader, rather

than a boss, always ended with better teamwork and cooperation in

the group.  Instead of looking at my siblings as less than me, I started

looking at them as equal, and it was my job to lead them in the right

direction."

This book really taught us how important it is to allow life's greatest crucibles to change us for the better.  We all face challenges, trials, and heartaches, but those events are what shape us into who we are. 

FROM THE WOMEN IN CINCINNATI

After reading the book we got together and took turns discussing what it meant, in our own words, to be a good leader. Even after reading the same book we still had so many different ideas of what made a leader great! But we all agreed that in order to be the best, most effective leader, you've got to be comfortable and confident in yourself, as well as selfless. Recognize your flaws, admit your mistakes, essentially know that you are no better than anyone you are leading. Also know what your reason is for doing what you're doing, and stick to it. Hold yourself and others to the same standard, and make accountability a priority. And love what you do and those you do it with. If you don't, it'll make it that much harder to succeed. We are lucky to have great leaders among us on this team and in this company! Vivint Vivint!!

FROM THE WOMEN IN NORTH DALLA

We picked chapter 7, Support Team.

We made a list of important relationships. Some of the things we listed were our husbands, family and friends.
We talked about how family plays a big role on developing yourself as a leader, as well as many other aspects in life.
When we were discussing leaders some examples we had were church leaders, coaches and parents. We talked about how they had mentored us and helped us develop leadership skills.
We then discussed how having friends that you help, and that help you through challenges, is very important. And that honesty is essential in friendships.
Lastly, we talked about how we all have a personal support group. We talked about how important a support group is to each of us and how everyone should have one. They can come from different situations depending on what is currently being experienced. During the summer months the wives in the office are an essential support team and helpful through challenges during the summer!

FROM THE WOMEN IN OMAHA

Often these days we are surrounded with perfection; everyone we see on social media posts their picture perfect lives. As wives and mothers it's hard to compare ourselves and our lives, to these "perfect" lives. Maybe we are just the abnormal. But we don't have Pinterest perfect meals + homes, airbrushed makeup and photographs taken every moment of the day-as though we have a paparazzi following us through out perfect days. 

Our days are filled of mistakes, messes, fights, and often times leaves us feeling like failures. 

This is where our quote comes in: 

"Failure is not the opposite of success. It's a stepping stone to success."

Failure is NOT the opposite of success, it's a STEPPING STONE to success. We fail to learn, we fail to succeed.  If we each went through our lives with out any trials, not facing anything that pushed us past our limits- making us fail. How would we grow. We each must follow our inner voice, even if it pushes is towards the hard road. Even though we fail and may feel like it's not getting us anywhere. It is. We are progressing and learning. Slowly stepping towards success.

We have loved reading, studying and learning this last month. Thanks Elevate for the fun, unifying activity. 

FROM THE WOMEN IN DENVER

FROM THE WOMEN IN LAFAYETTE

“The world will shape you if you let it. To live the life you desire, you must make conscious choices.” (p. 159—John Donahue, CEO, eBay)

We are all in agreement that while this Vivint life can be so fun and full of adventures, it is also full of many obstacles in trying to maintain an integrated lifestyle. It can be hard for us/our significant others to find time for “me”, each other, and our families with the demanding schedule this job requires. It is especially important to remember, “there is never enough time to do everything you want to do, because the world around you makes ever greater demands on your time. Nor will you be able to achieve a perfect balance between all aspects of your life—your career, family, friends and community, and personal life. Inevitably, you will have to make trade-offs. How you do so will determine how fulfilling your life will be” (p.159).

If we want to be successful and authentic leaders we must be true to our personal life and needs. If we want to help our husbands, friends, significant others be authentic and successful leaders we have to help them find balance and integrate the personal with professional. In this section John Donahue focuses on the vital role that his wife played in helping him maintain an integrated life. She was there to ground him when he needed it. Sometimes we are not the ones necessarily in the “leadership role” but we can still be a leader by helping those around us stay grounded. We find that to be one of the most important things we can do right now.

We have to constantly make choices with how we are going to live our lives. Finding balance will not come on it’s own. The ultimate challenge is making those choices that will allow us to become the most authentic leader we can be, in every aspect. 

FROM THE WOMEN IN SIKESTON

Extrinsic motivators are driven by the outside world that give value to one self.  Our group identified with the following extrinsic motivators:

·         Material items: cars, houses, money, stuff

·         Recognition/reward: accomplishments, finishing at the top, titles, praise

·         Status:  esteem of peers, how others view you, fame

Intrinsic motivators are internally driven from within, without some type of external gain that create positive emotions.  Our group identified with the following intrinsic motivators:

·         Personal growth: self awareness, progress, living to full potential

·         Sense of meaning: satisfaction, being good at something, putting forth best effort, doing what you like; relationships

·         Helping others: volunteering, being a positive influence on someone’s life

·         Meaningful and making a difference: doing something for the greater good that has value

·         True to beliefs:  what is important to your life; values

It’s natural to be motivated by external factors but it is important to balance it with intrinsic motivators to have the most fulfillment in life.  The book provides many examples of how being too indulged in extrinsic motivators can be detrimental, causing people to feel pressured, trapped and unsatisfied in life.

Many companies focus on extrinsic motivators to keep their employees producing at their highest levels.  Incentives such as trips, prizes and money are offered for those who do THE best or get THE most.  Competition within the company drives the every day operations  and little to no attention is given to individual talents, contributions, and achievements.  Our group discussion focused on how Vivint is not like most companies.  While Vivint does offer extrinsic motivators to its sales representatives (and we are very grateful for their generosity),  Vivint also offers internal motivators such as personal development and growth, team building activities, opportunities to give to charity, and values family by allowing us to be with each other during the season just to name a few.  Being part of Vivint is more than just being part of a company- it’s being a part of a culture and a family.  Vivint strives for excellence but in a way that’s honest and with integrity and so do we in our lives.

The relationships developed at Vivint are more than just business- our families help one another in times of need, lean on each other and build each other up.  These relationships are possible because true leaders are developed at Vivint.  And as the company grows and succeeds, so do we.  

FROM THE WOMEN IN JEFFERSON CITY

 This book, and the exercises attached, allowed us to think a little deeper into who we are. We go about our lives, not thinking too much about the “why” behind the decisions we make. We unconsciously make decisions that in retrospect have huge impact on the person we are today, and who we will be. It gave us the opportunity to stop and write down what exactly motivates us and why. It allowed us to re-prioritize what is most important in our lives and maybe adjust those a little. To take the time to really see the impact others have had on our lives and the impact we are having on others. This opened our eyes to the idea that whether we like it or not, we are influencing others, just as others have influenced us. We loved the perspective it gave us of the “we”. When we changed our perspective in this way, it makes the tasks that we know are important but are maybe a little more difficult or mundane to carry out, a little easier to do. When we can grasp the impact on a larger scale, our desire to help and serve becomes that much stronger. 

Thank you for the opportunity to sit down and actively reflect on ourselves and the impact we have on not only ourselves but our families, and those we interact with. Leadership is such an important skill and we now know that it is not a born quality, but is a combination of skills and knowledge that allow us all to be leaders. Discovering our True North gave us a sense of responsibility to develop our potential as not only leaders, but authentic leaders. Women who lead by example, with a true moral compass, and an opaque desire to do what is best for the group, for the “we”, and not for the “I’.

FROM THE WOMEN IN TULSA OK

Being the wife of a summer salesman means always immersing yourself in an unfamiliar environment. Every year it's new and different. It's scary, lonely, and even frustrating at times; but it is also fun, exciting, and adventurous. Luckily we have other wives that are going through the same things. Each year we get to grow and discover something new about ourselves; we get to learn who we are and grow into strong, independent women.

Dani Onkes

My parents most influenced my early life. Weather it was good or bad things I have been able to see their triumphs & trials & hopefully learn from them and grow.

My mom has been the best example of leadership in my life. She always worked full-time but never missed any of my dance recitals or school activities. She didn't always have the most money or time, but I never knew that because she was the most positive & uplifting person I knew!

I hope that failures in my early life (not having a lot of money, parents working a lot) have not hindered my life today, but helped me grow & showed me what I want to do differently with my future family!

I'm grateful we were able to read this fun book together!

Kyndra Steen

If you think about all the great leaders in your life- what other thing do they have in common? They're trustworthy. What makes them trustworthy is them being who they are and confident in who they are. If we all learned how to be confident In ourselves and really comfortable being our true self, we can all be great leaders.

Maci Bingham

When asked the question "Do the failures or disappointments you experienced earlier in your life constrain you, even today, or have you been bald to reframe them as learning experiences" my answer would be, they have framed me into who I am now and the person I've become. I have failed plenty of times and have succeeded as well and each situation I've tried to look back on it to learn a lesson. I am happy with how my life has come to be and it wouldn't have been for the trials and experiences along the way.

Sage Sayama

The term leader/leadership  has such a diverse meaning and since becoming a mom I have gained another perspective of what it entails. Being a parent means you are a leader to your children and how you handle yourself is directly expressed through them. I need to be come a better leader not just for myself but for my daughter.

Teisha Sorensen

1. I crave success with my family; I want to be able to raise respectful, hardworking, and happy children who find joy in their lives and have the confidence they need to succeed in this world.

2. I crave success in my career; I want to feel accomplished with myself and experience the joy of all my hardwork and know that when I make hard goals I can reach them.

Erin Pinnock

My most important relationship is with my husband.  For me, nothing comes before family. He’s not my flesh and blood, but he’s the one person I chose over every other human on earth. There’s no one’s opinion I trust more, whose successes I’m happier for, or anyone I’d rather try to figure out life with. He’s been the biggest support in my life and has always been the greatest example of how to become a better me.

Courteney Rogers

FROM THE WOMEN IN DC SOUTH

FROM THE WOMEN IN YUMA, AZ

Exercise: The Integrated Leader

1. The most important thing in our personal lives is our families. It means a lot to us knowing that our families know how much we love and care for them.  In our relationships, making sure there is an open line of communication is a way we can nurture our families and shape them for the future.

2. It is important to always remember where you came from, acknowledging your past and embracing those experiences.

3. Making sure that your family and friends are a positive influence in your life is key. Their positivity and support adds to success in our professional lives.  

--A large amount of support and being held accountable by our spouse/family keep us centered on the right path, or on our True North. It is vital in our marriages to keep each other “in check” with our priorities.

4. A few of us have made the sacrifice of retaking classes to further our chances of getting into our undergrad program. Some have given up job opportunities to support our husbands in this line of work. In a humble way, we truly wouldn’t change or do anything differently. Our past is what has shaped us into the women we are today.

5. By happiness. As cliché as it sounds, we believe it is of utmost importance to enjoy the journey, not just the destination. Focus on the ride! If we didn’t we would miss out on incredible experiences!

FROM THE WOMEN IN CORPUS CHRISTI

"The book, True North, is about the ways it's possible to become a leader, lead others, explore your own life and abilities, and grow in all spheres of life.  Leadership is the ability to lead people by expressing your ideas, and being able to realize and implement your goals.  When you can do these things you can lead those around you to success.  Each of us has a story that is unique.  They are unique because they show how people can grow and develop their lives.  When you have the desire, strength of character, and the will to fight with challenges you will succeed. "

Written by Vita Suvor & The Corpus Christi Wives

**Elevate would like to send out a special thanks to this team!! Vita is from Ukraine and read the entire book with an English-Ukrianian dictionary. She journaled as she read and her friends helped her translated and edit one of her journal entries for Elevate's Book Club. There are many amazing leaders in Elevate. Thanks for leading by example Corpus Christi! 

FROM THE WOMEN IN HOUSTON SOUTH

FROM JAMIE IN INDIANAPOLIS

BOOK CLUB QUESTIONS: 

1. What are your extrinsic motivators? What are your intrinsic motivators? What are your greatest capabilities and how can you use them to be a great leader?

A) Extrinsic Motivators:

-Praise/Public Recognition

- Rewards/ Monetary Compensation

         ​B) Intrinsic Motivators:

​     - Helping Others

​     - Being True to One’s Beliefs

​     - Making a Difference in the World

One of my greatest capabilities is my compassion for others. I truly want the best for people and am very sensitive to their needs. With strong listening skills and a desire to make a difference (world or a single person), I believe I could use these skills to become a great leader because I could zero-in on how to help my team in areas they need it most. Often leaders are focused on their own success, however, I find great satisfaction and self-value in helping others before I help myself.

2. What friends can you count on if things aren't going well for you? Can you give each other honest feedback? How valuable and meaningful is this relationship?

My best friend of 20+ years is somebody that I know I can always count on. I appreciate the honesty in our friendship. She understands when I need to hear what I want to hear but is also able to tell me the truth when I need to hear it. I would consider her friendship one of the most valuable ones I have.

3. Do you ever see yourself as the hero in your own journey? Have you made the transformation from 'I' to 'We'? If you have not yet made this transformation, what would have to happen in your life for this to occur?

I think everyone should be their own hero and am able to see myself as one in my own journey. When I was younger I was not what one would call ‘Brave’. I was fearful of branching out and questioned trying new things. It’s been my greatest struggle and my greatest accomplishment to push myself to go outside of my comfort zone in all aspects of life: mentally, socially, physically, etc. As I have gotten older, I have really begun to recognize the value of experiences because I can see now how they add value to your life later on. Additionally, because I took a chance on rekindling my relationship with my former high school sweetheart, I had to make the transformation from ‘I’ to ‘We’. At first, this was hard because I had just spent 2+ years focusing on becoming my own person. However, making the transformation from ‘I’ to ‘We’ was likely easier because I was doing it with more confidence and faith than I had ever had before.